I have no answer, but I can share a shift I made myself many years ago. When my son Noah was born, I was overcome by the fear of losing him. I thought I would never recover, I could never forgive God. And what kind of a God would take away a child anyway? Then, somehow, I realized that I could see that any and every day with my child was a gift. In fact, why was I so entitled to believe any of us had a right to be here in the first place? Didn't it make just as much sense to realize that being here in the first place was a miracle not to be taken for granted or to be angry about if it was taken away, but to be grateful for each and every minute we got to spend with our beloved ones?
I offer you this now, in honor of Emily, and in honor of each and every child who has ever been taken from us. Thank you God, for the gift of life. For the honor of loving the souls who have been entrusted to us. May we hold the preciousness of their presence, whether it has been for an hour, a day, 18 years, or a lifetime, as a gracious gift.